Do You Feel Like You and Your Partner Just Don’t Know How to Communicate?

heterosexual couple with a wall separating them

Are you tired of being blamed and criticized by your partner?

Do you go to sleep at night worrying about your marriage problems?

Do you feel like you don’t know what you’ve done wrong—and find yourself wondering what happened to the wonderful feelings you had for each other in the beginning?

Do you feel like your partner doesn’t take your concerns seriously?

Relationship problems can create so much pain and stress that you may wonder sometimes if you are even right for each other. As you stay together longer, you may find that all kinds of problems start to emerge that weren’t there in the beginning of the relationship. Perhaps you find that you and your partner are having the same fights over and over again. You may be wondering how much arguing is healthy in a relationship.

Your partner may have had an affair and you are feeling deeply betrayed, but the two of you can’t seem to talk about it. You may have major disagreements about how you handle your kids, your in-laws, your money, or maybe one of you wants an open marriage and the other one doesn’t.

When you are in an unhappy relationship, it affects every other area of your life: You can have trouble performing at work, feel emotionally wrecked, stressed, upset, irritated and ready to call it quits. An over-scheduled life only amplifies your relationship problems. Instead of feeling like lovers, you and your partner can end up feeling like business associates at best and enemies at worst. Whatever happened to just enjoying life together?


Let’s Face It: Relationships Are Hard

Relationship challenges are unavoidable for most couples. Many people think that their marital problems are due to the stressors in their lives such as health, money and kids. But really, the problems usually go much deeper than that. The truth is that most of us get no education on how to succeed in intimate relationships. A lot of times, we didn’t see our parents relating to each other in a healthy way when we were kids, and this affects our ability to build satisfying relationships as adults. It’s no wonder that the national divorce rate is so high and divorce counseling is one of the most common reasons couples seek help.

That’s where I come in.

As a caring and experienced couples therapist, I help you and your partner learn how to create a truly fantastic relationship from the ground up. Whether you are coming in for premarital counseling, trying to create a blended family, or have been together for years, relationship therapy will help you learn how to truly relax with one another, enjoy less conflict and more connection.

Couples Therapy Helps You Build a Lasting Relationship Based on Love and Trust

lesbian couple standing nose to nose, smiling

In the words of my mentor, Dr. Stan Tatkin, “Who among us doesn’t want to feel loved?” You want to be able to have a fulfilling relationship without sacrificing the person you are.

The kind of couples therapy I practice is called PACT (a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy). This method is grounded in the latest science about human bonding and the brain, providing a leading-edge understanding of what makes relationships work. It gets underneath the surface layer of your problems with your partner so you can solve the root issues and create lasting change.

To learn more about the PACT approach to working with couples, please click here.

You are probably wondering what to expect from couples counseling, so here is a brief list of what we will be doing. In couples therapy, you are going to learn how to:

  • Build a relationship based on principles of total collaboration, total cooperation,
    fairness, justice and sensitivity for both people

  • Create moments of love and positive connection with your partner throughout the day

  • Navigate conflict so you know how to de-escalate in the heat of an argument without it getting scary or dangerous

  • Heal betrayals and wounds from the past so you never have to talk about them again

  • Understand the person you picked, how they tick, what makes them happy and sad, and how you can help foster their self-esteem and well-being

By the end of the first session you are going to understand exactly why you and your partner are getting into trouble as a couple, and exactly what we are going to do about it in therapy to solve the problems going forward.

I’ve been a couples therapist for over ten years. I have the depth of training and experience necessary to help you solve even your most difficult marital problems in the most efficient way possible. Most of the couples I see report positive changes in their relationship right from the very first session. So, whether your problems started three days ago, or thirty years ago, healing and change really are possible in your relationship.

You may already recognize the benefits of couples therapy, but still have concerns…

Couples Therapy Is Expensive. Is It Really Worth the Money?

The answer is a resounding “yes!” Relationship problems take a staggering toll on people: Emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually and financially. The average divorce costs $15,000 to $30,000. The impact of parental conflict and divorce on children is devastating. Studies show that divorce is one of the top stressors that a human being can experience.

Studies also show that fighting with your partner is extremely damaging not just emotionally but also to your physical health. Investing in your relationship now will almost certainly save you a world of hurt and money in the long run.

We Each Have Our Issues That We Need to Work On. Wouldn’t Individual Therapy Be Better for Us Than Couples Therapy?

heterosexual couple in couples counseling

Many couples wonder what the best way is to tackle their marital problems. Should they each get an individual therapist or is couples therapy the way to go? As a seasoned therapist for individuals and couples, I can tell you that couples therapy is the method of choice for relationship problems. Since our emotional wounds originate in our earliest relationships, they can be healed most effectively in our relationships now.

When it comes to solving relationship problems, having both of you come to therapy together gives you the greatest chance for success.

What If My Partner Doesn’t Want to Come in for Couples Counseling?

Very often, one partner isn’t so excited about coming to couples counseling—to say the least. This partner may feel that they are constantly being seen as “the problem.” They may be worried about feeling ambushed or shamed if they go to therapy. That’s why I offer an opportunity for each partner to speak with me by phone at no charge, prior to making a decision to work with me and without the other partner on the line if they so choose.

You Can Have a Wonderful, Passionate Relationship with Your Partner

heterosexual couple sitting on stone wall, backpacking in mountains

Knowing how to talk without fighting is a great place to start. I invite you to download my free report to learn three tips to stop stressful fights with your partner. This will help you stop the pain in your relationship right away.

Next Steps…

Click on the orange button below to set up your free 30-minute consultation so I can find out about your goals and how I can help.